The Asian Persuasion

Why is normalcy deserving of punishment?

Because I have no physical or mental disabilities, I'm treated the worst. Why?

I'm the only person in the house capable of logical solutions. So I'm punished. Why?

I'm the only one with the want, or even the ability, to socialize like a normal person. The only one who really likes to go out with friends and do stuff. So I'm punished. Why?

I'm the only one who, like a normal person, doesn't kiss my parents' ass. And I'm punished. Why? (Well, that one I could probably answer.)

I'm also punished because I'm the only one who would rather sit here on the computer, isolated from the insanity, isolated from where I can "do something wrong" (which works so well). Why?

Why bother trying to be a normal person when it only leads to trouble?

So Verizon has cut off our cell phone service. This means a bunch to me since, you know, I send/receive about 8,000 texts a month. Plus, every time I've gone out in the past few months, it's been planned using my damn cell phone.

Fuuuuck.

Admittedly, I haven't listened to nearly enough albums to properly answer this question, but here it is. Oh, and they're naturally not in order.

1. Ozzy Osbourne - Tribute
2. Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon
3. Guns n' Roses - Use Your Illusion II
4. Coheed and Cambria - From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness
5. Queen - Jazz
6. Yes - 90125
7. Aerosmith - Rocks
8. Prince - Purple Rain
9. Joe Satriani - Surfin With the Alien
10. AC/DC - Back In Black

Well, I've decided to scrap my novel, which I was already behind on.

Fuck.

A man kidnaps a girl who has something up with her, and they end up teaming up to figure out why the fuck he's doing what he's doing. :D

All up in my grill.

i.e. trying to make a colony under my monitor and/or behind my desk. D:

So, yeah. I figure, since I'm not even going to be on during the week, I might as well tell you wonderful people about my life. Every single week. It's like SNL, except probably less humorous, and with more Asians. Sometimes. They should definitely let Yao Ming host it, though. It'd be epic. Unless he was the musical guest, too. Probably not epic. But what if it was?! That'd be awesome. (That's how I talk, IRL. Srsly.)

Life without the compy on the weekdays sucks. Yes, I feel like a major nerd saying that, but I don't even care. I use the computer to vent (as many of you have seen before), and I use it to keep caring about the supposedly-wonderful people in my life, and or et cetera. Yeah, I'm a terrible person. It's okay.

I'll probably be hopping on Tuesday and Thursday evenings for DnD. I've missed out on waaay too much, and now poor Mason Vauxnn is not only a complete idiot, but way behind on the times. It's pretty epic failure. YES I PLAY DND. Shoot me.

I've realized that the most suckish thing about being in my house is that my mother seems to enjoy putting me down to make Jade feel better about herself. It's quite agonizing. Oh well.

NaNo is a month away, and I can't wait for it. It'll keep my nice and busy, and I've got a couple ideas I've been juggling around for it, although I can't even remember one right now. At any rate, I'll be on the comp every day then, though not necessarily online... yeah, it's a bit early to be thinking about it, but I have been, and I'm okay with it. xP

Also, I suck at buying birthday presents. Just, FYI. Maybe it has to do with my being broke. I dunno.

Oh, and Heroes starts up again in a few days. You know, that show of epic win and win. I would shoot someone if they prevented me from seeing it. Shoot them, and burn them, and then watch it online. Ohshit, DnD is on Tuesday... good thing I have a TV in my room. Damn, it's going to be epic. I can tell.

Also, SNL last weekend was awesome, and I'll probably watch it tonight to pass time. I tend to watch TV or sleep to pass time nowadays, since I've limited my comp usage. Sleeping is fun. But effer, I have to wake up early tomorrow. Oh well, lack of sleep is okay, I'll watch SNL anyway.

Also, people confuse me. That is all.

(Copied and pasted everywheeeere.)

Due to uh, circumstances, I'm gonna be cutting back on my computer/internet time - I'll only be on Saturdays and Sundays from now on, unless it's absolutely necessary for me to be on otherwise. So yeah, see ya Saturday.

X_x

I love how every person my sister doesn't like has a serious mental problem.

I love how if I have a problem with all of those people my sister dislikes being diagnosed by the expert (being my mother), I get yelled at.

I love how if I say something about it, my sister starts screaming and crying because her life is being criticized.

I love how if that happens, I get yelled at.

I love how complete 180 degree mood swings are no sign of issues at all. However, if I get pissed off and, like a normal person, stay pissed off, it's because I have anger issues.

I love how constant fucking screaming, every god damn day for dozens of minutes at a time, is not an issue, and yet being annoyingly truthful is.

I love how, even though I'm the one who's in a 12th grade math class when I'm a sophomore is no big deal, while my little sister, who is in the seventh grade and can't even multiple double digits without a calculator, is a math whiz.

I love how 80% of dinner is spent listening to my sister, who nobody even fucking wants to listen to, who complains about people who are completely unassociated with her and only does it to make it seem like she's a golden child, and then at the end of dinner she's yelled at for talking too much and not eating enough. However, she cries and screams about how she can't eat it all (despite having a plate size 1/4 that of everyone else's) and nobody seems to care after that.

I love how despite the fact that people cannot survive without $64 in the bank, we don't have $64 in the bank. Which is an irrelevant thing at this point, but I thought I'd bring it up.

And mostly (which refers back to a previous statement), I love how I have anger issues, and I have mental problems, and I need therapy, despite the fact that the obvious problem is all this shit is never taken care of no matter how many times I bring it up. If I bring it up, I have mental problems. If I bring it up, my sister has no problems, she's just under a lot of stress. If I yell, I have a mental issue. If she yells, she's under a lot of stress.

Fuck this shit.

Also, I realize most of my entries have been about the hatred that spews from every cell in my body for my family, but damn if it isn't well-deserved.

And if my parents read this, I'd be fucked, FYI. Because, I have mental problems, and Jade is under a lot of stress. Just, FYI.

He won by one hundredth of a second, when he was losing.

Wtf.

Epic.

This is just an example (although it probably happened at some point):

Little Sister: Man, that was hard.
Me: Lolhax that's what she said.
Little Sister: (30 minute screamfest)
Mom: NOAH WTF IS YOUR PROBLEM (bitchfest)

Explain, pls? 'Cos I just don't get it.

Did I mention she has decided to start putting me down when talking to my sister while I'm sitting right there, just to make my sister feel better about herself?

Wtf?

I didn't really realize it until now, but my mother has lost all ability to actually do things for herself. I mean, I only pretend to be unable to do things for myself, because I find it more efficient to have others do things for me. My mother? Mm... nope, she just doesn't seem to be able to do things for herself. Otherwise, she probably wouldn't have completely fucked up the living room for the past year or two, then told us to clean it up today.

....damn.

I fell asleep at about 12:30 PM yesterday, woke up at midnight, have been up since. I made 20 zoid bios for ZO (Addelo's site). Damn, I have no freakin' life.

Three years and four months ago today, I joined a website known as Metal Machine Music. It was a Zoids roleplaying game, one that at the time had been thriving quite well with both old and new members (many of which I have befriended since then). I was eleven years old at the time, and was certainly not mature enough to meld into a scene full of high school and college kids who were in the midst of perfecting the art of roleplaying. One could say that such perfection is impossible, but I would say some of those MMMers have come pretty damn close. At any rate, I would like to think that most of my maturity and otherworldly knowledge has come from all the time spent on Metal Machine Music, refreshing the index or spamming in the Forest. Not all of that came directly, of course, but for the most part it came from somewhere I would never have found or had interest in if not for MMM.

Today, Metal Machine Music shut down. There was quite a bit of turmoil going on, both between the members, the staff, and the two with each other. Although I can't be sure, I have no doubt that there was quite a bit of internal strife going on behind the scenes. It's a bit of a depressing day for me, because I've basically grown up with MMM in my life. It's been my homepage since I got my own computer back in Christmas '05. It's amazing to think one website could change a person as much as this has.

However, I am done mourning, because I feel that there is no point in wasting time feeling down about something that you have no power to change. It's a phase in my life that has come and gone. It's certainly not one I want to revisit, for various reasons. As they say, let sleeping dogs lie - I hope the site does not witness any revival.

Well, that's about it. I'm not even sure why I have this. Whatever.

EDIT: For anyone who ends up seeing this who wasn't an MMMer, it is insane that a website alone could do that. No, I'm not a nerdy emo kid who spends all his time on the computer and thusly is affected by things like this. I'm affected by things like this because I spend the first years of my teenage life being scorned on this site.

Peace Out,

Noah (Masterson)